Perhaps the most prominent influence in my choice of theme for my essay was grounded in one of my fellow classmates' blogs. She wrote about the "cycle of power" occurring between Amir, Hassan, and Sohrab; while her unique insight involves a plot element we didn't discuss in class, it is thorough enough to enable one to deeply delve into the meaning of a story and perhaps derive several interpretations of major plot events. Up until that point, many of my enveloping ideas of the book were based on the themes and trends we had discussed in class. To read my classmates blog almost instigated, within my brain, the formation of a newfound purpose for writing my essay: I didn't want to simply create a viable thesis, support it with strong evidence, and demonstrate an adequate understanding of the book and writing technique, eventually arriving at a certain degree of satisfaction at having done so. I wanted to use the strong, viable thesis I had written to support an idea I was not initially entirely sure about, and one that would not be simple to defend. The writing, I hoped, would transform itself into a complex process, at the beginning of which was selecting a thesis it would take effort and time to craft into the essay, and at the end of which was feeling satisfied at having reached a unique perspective of the book as related to the focus of my thesis.
Admittedly, it took me several discussions with Mr. Allen and a cumulative total of a few hours to unify my understanding of the quality of the thesis that was expected, and how I could generate a unique and yet reasonable claim. The original reason I had picked the theme of dreams for my essay was grounded in the fact that I often analyze my own dreams, and hold many theories about the metaphysical aspect of life and tendencies of the brain during sleep. What held me back, however, was that I soon discovered Hosseini's purpose of including the dreams was angled more toward implicitly sending a message about the affects of Amir's emotional baggage and subconscious desires; this as opposed to offering a layered explanation of the dream that would require readers of the book to understand the workings of the mind so that they could delve deeper into Amir's feelings.
Throughout the actual physical writing of the essay, it was at points difficult to organize my thoughts. I had completed my evidence plan accordingly, but consistently felt that a piece of evidence needed to be sharpened and the analysis refined, so as to keep the claims relevant and maintain the perspective. Personally, I try to keep an open and flexible mindset during this process, because it is often here where I finally delve into the deeper meanings of certain plot events, and eventually arrive at a newfound understanding of the story. This was somewhat more difficult with The Kite Runner essay, for I kept seeking to include my newly discovered interpretations in my body paragraphs, while still having to verify whether they fit or worked as valid evidence for my thesis. Condensation of ideas and words was one of the more significant issues I faced while participating in this process.
Also in the refinement process, I tend to add layers and more elaborate wording to the set of evidence I wish to present, often requiring me to go back and make sure I didn't distort the original perspective I had in mind. To control the massive amounts of new ideas that come to my mind while doing this, I will often add bullets under the paragraph I'm writing to actually put my thoughts on the table. Other times, I will add these new ideas to the paragraph-organizers I have created to assist me in prioritizing my thoughts; often new bits of evidence I come across, or a point of focus I wish to shift, will require me to reorganize and re-conceptualize the entire paragraph, so as to maintain the perspective.
As a result of my thorough proofreading after each written sentence, I will sometimes craft the text so tightly that, if and when I realize I have distorted perspective or missed a large point, it will become very mind boggling to reorder and reword everything I have written. Other times, I will proofread more for craft as opposed to content, and end up adding elaborate language and/or a thorough progression of ideas, which ends up working against my need to condense my writing.
In totality, my writing is usually effective; I try to include varying language and sentence structure, as well as a range of ideas. However, my writing could always be more condensed from a high degree of elaboration and/or ideas. I am surprised that my writing is sometimes able to convey some of the deepest thoughts I have, but I am equally surprised when it isn't. Ideally, I would like to be more concise and direct, and not feel the need to over-elaborate or over-explain something, just write it as it is.
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